


The New Arrangement

by Anonymous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drunkenness, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-31
Updated: 2005-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26216221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Collections: Anonymous





	The New Arrangement

Sirius shifted a pile of Moony-weight on his arm, his shoulder starting to ache from carrying a half-lifeless corpse of ale that was currently singing tongue twisters into Sirius’ ear to a tune of his own choosing.

“Sheeeeee sshells shea shellsss byyy de shea shctore,” Remus wailed in a forlorn melody that sounded like it could be either “Eise the b’y” or “Mary Mac.”

“Y’re drunk,” Sirius said, enunciating clearly as he nearly swerved them into a hedge.

“Srrrrr…so arrr you…No. Woodddcshuck.” Remus told Sirius’ hair. Sirius tried to make coherent sense of that, but figured even if his mind wasn’t slightly muddled, he probably still wouldn’t understand.

“Yer twice asss drunk asss I’m.”

“Pshhhhhhhssstcth,” Remus said, almost-sliding off of Sirius as he stumbled over a perfectly flat sidewalk. Sirius decided not to respond to that, instead grabbing hold of Remus again and trying to steady him, as much as that was possible in such a state. Thankfully it wasn’t long until they reached Remus’ flat.

“Give us…your keys…” Sirius said, propping Remus up against the wall.

“Merrh…” Remus said in a way that must have been petulantly, even if whatever he said was not entirely comprehensible.

“Mooooooony,” Sirius said impatiently, digging through his friend’s pocket and coming out triumphantly with the keys. He opened the door to the main floor, before retrieving Remus who was now on the ground talking to his left shoelace about trees.

They staggered into the lift, and Sirius did his best to keep Remus from pressing all the buttons in one go—which was getting increasingly harder as his second wind seemed to have left him and he was beginning to feel increasingly dizzy. After an hour of waiting for Sirius (and yet strangely no time at all for Remus, who had pressed many of the buttons for the higher floors by this point), they finally reached floor 2, which Sirius pulled them out onto before the elevator began its journey to emptier places. With some success, Sirius fumbled the keys into the lock and opened the door to Remus’ flat, hauling an already sliding Remus with him. Once inside Sirius placed Remus on a chair and went through the cupboards, knocking over glasses and cans as he went. Thankfully nothing broke.

Finally he came out victorious. “HERE, DRINK THIS!” he said in what he believed to be a very quiet voice, holding out a spoon to Remus.

“Shoooez fiiirst,” Remus whined, flinching from Sirius shouting so close to his ear.

“FINE,” Sirius said, swallowing the Hangover Helper potion and kneeling down to take off Remus’ shoes. Remus flopped onto his head part-way through, and Sirius, to his credit, did not yelp very loudly, and pushed Remus off of him as best he could. “Nonnnnnne of that again,” Sirius told Remus sharply as he sat there giggling. Remus just gave him wide eyes and made a ‘hic’-like sound, before the giggling recommenced.

When Sirius finally managed to take off the insubordinate left shoe, as he now thought of it, he forced the potion down Remus’ throat with great personal risk to himself. “S’time to go t’bed now, Mooooony,” Sirius said, dragging him to his bedroom and gracelessly dropping him on the bed. Remus just splayed his limbs at an even more awkward-looking angle, before seeming to fall asleep. Sirius began to tiptoe his way out, making a spectacular crash into the dresser.

“Cmbackere!” Remus demanded, eyes still closed.

“Okay,” Sirius said, and slumped artlessly at the side of the bed.  
Remus whispered to Sirius’ neck, “A properr cup of coffee in a cropper coffrey cup,” before burrowing into his pillow. Without really thinking, Sirius slipped into bed beside him too knackered (and trashed, to be honest) to attempt leaving again.


End file.
